Tips For Accepting Your New Lover’s Family
For children especially, it can be hard to see their mother or father striking up a new relationship with a lover. Whether or not the relationship you’re in will become more serious does ultimately depend on your ability to accept your lover’s children. Bear in mind, acceptance doesn’t happen overnight and you will have a few tough moments to get through, but a few tips below can help you get started!
Check Your Intentions
What are your intentions regarding the new relationship? If you’ve been messing about on random online dating sites or even using adult phone sex chat rooms because you’re only looking for a quick fling and no commitment, you still have to consider the people who you may be hurting. Not only will your new lover be affected by your decision, but his or her children as well.
Don’t just show up at your lover’s house and expect the children to automatically accept your presence. Remember, the kids are from a previous relationship and they will still remember what it was like to be a family before you came along. This is especially true if your lover is widowed as opposed to divorced.
Don’t Pretend To Be A Friend
It may seem tempting to hide who you are by pretending to be a work colleague or a new friend. Children can sense that something is off and the relationship is more serious than they’re being told. If you want your lover’s children to accept you and for you to accept them, be honest from the start.
You’re walking into an already established family and way of life. It’s important that you don’t try to control your lover’s children and lay down new rules as doing so can lead to serious resentment from all parties. Gradually ease into a life together and be respectful of the things that were established before you came along.
Provide Personal Space
Don’t force the children to automatically accept you or your presence as that’s unlikely to happen. Start by speaking with your partner when the children are out, to discuss discipline problems or concerns. Come to an agreement how best to address the situation.
Having a lover with children can be tough. You have to think about the feelings of several different people before acting on your urges. Remember, you’re someone new that the children may not like right away!